


Here Comes The Feeling

by Gooseberrybrains



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), drabble turned fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 16:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20438705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gooseberrybrains/pseuds/Gooseberrybrains
Summary: She nodded in acknowledgment of his apology but did not give one of her own. She was not sorry for that bruise. She was sorry that she couldn’t stop staring at it. She was especially sorry that she wanted to kiss it.





	Here Comes The Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> RJ (pixelated) would say that I have a problem. I can’t seem to post a drabble on tumblr without it turning into a full blown story. It’s a struggle. 
> 
> I had no beta on this, so I’m sorry for any mistakes.

_ They had to work together so they had to learn to get along.  _ Despite the number of times Lily repeated this to herself, she couldn’t seem to  _ do _ it. James Potter was such an irritating git, and while he had been positively giddy when Professor Sprout paired them together for the project, she had been livid. He was always pestering her, and he never took his school work seriously. 

Lily glared at him across from the table where they were planting Dittany seedlings. He had a smudge of dirt on his cheek that made him look utterly absurd. Potter glanced up at her then, smiling with a goofy curve to his lips. Her heart skipped a beat and she thought it must be because she hadn’t eaten lunch today. There was absolutely no other reason for her to feel breathless right now. 

“What?” she snapped. 

His grin widened and he leaned toward her, running an irritatingly nimble hand through her hair and holding up a leaf as he pulled away. Lily felt her face get hot and she frowned. Maybe she was coming down with something. That would certainly explain the heart palpitations, breathlessness, and feverish way she was feeling. 

Thankfully, class ended before she had to make up an excuse and she gathered her books and hurried from the greenhouse. She was dismayed to see Potter keeping pace with her as she walked up the hill to the castle. 

“Evans,” he said, sounding a little breathless himself as he put a hand on her shoulder to slow her down. 

She spun around to face him and shrugged his hand off angrily. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed. 

Potter held his hands up in surrender, before shrugging and using a finger to push his glasses up his nose. He still had that streak of dirt on his face and Lily couldn’t seem to stop staring at it. She didn’t know why it was so mesmerizing, only that it was. She watched him for so long that he grew uncomfortable and shuffled his feet, running a hand through his ridiculous hair. It stood on end even more than before, and really between that, the dirt and the way he constantly kept pushing up his glasses, he ought to look like the most undesirable idiot there was. 

_ Ought to _ . That was an ominous thought. She felt a surge of horror as the realization hit her. Dear God, no. Lily could feel the blood draining from her face as the panic swelled inside her. Potter furrowed his brow behind those asinine glasses and reached a hand out to her again. 

She jerked back violently. “I told you not to touch me, Potter!”

He frowned at her. “You look ill. I was just trying to help.”

“Well, don’t! I don’t need your help!” she shrieked, feeling a bit hysterical. 

Potter scowled and ran his stupid hand through his stupid hair again. “Fine. You don’t need to be so uptight.”

“Uptight?” Lily growled at him. “If I’m uptight, it’s only because you make me that way!”

“Oh please, you were  _ uptight _ before you ever met me!” James snorted indignantly, pushing his dumb glasses back up his annoyingly perfect nose. 

She clenched her fists and fought to keep her temper in check, but she was so angry with herself that it was bleeding into everything. “If I am so uptight and awful, then I see no reason why you should want to keep asking me out,” Lily ground out quietly.

Potter blanched and tried to backpedal immediately. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No. You know what, James Potter? Fuck off and leave me alone.” 

Lily turned to leave, only to be stopped by his hand on her shoulder again. This time her temper snapped and she swung around fist first, her knuckles connecting with that perfect smear of dirt on his cheek.

She ran back up to her dorm and threw herself on the bed, cradling her aching hand against her chest. What was it about James Potter that always got under her skin? She had never hit anyone before though she couldn’t deny that it had been extremely satisfying. Still, there was something even more pressing than her throbbing hand right now. Like her idiotic brain. She didn’t  _ want  _ to like Potter. He was such an arrogant berk. He was conceited and cruel and never took  _ anything _ seriously. Of course, he  _ had _ been much better behaved this year. Yes, he still played pranks and goofed off in class but he wasn’t making fun of people or anything overly mean. People did change, Lily supposed, and it wasn’t fair to judge someone solely on who they had been at twelve years old. 

She groaned and rolled into her back, staring up at the red canopy. Here she was, justifying her own horrifying crush to herself. It’s not like she could just give in to it though. Potter had been hitting on her and asking her out for years. It was a matter of principle now. 

Lily joined the other Gryffindors at dinner an hour later after a brief stop at the hospital wing to heal her swollen hand. Rather than admit that she hit another student, Lily had lied and told Madame Pomfrey that she got it caught in the portrait hole. She doubted the matron had believed her, but she didn’t comment and that was enough. 

Now she sat down next to Dorcas, and did her best to avoid looking at the group of boys a few seats away. Potter was amongst them, he always was. She said a murmured hello to her friends and focused her attention on her food. Not that she felt like eating. She mostly just pushed her potatoes around her plate and tried not to look up every time she heard him laugh. He was  _ always  _ laughing. Lily wasn’t sure when that sound had changed from a grating annoyance into something that made her heart skip a beat, but it had. She tightened her grip on her fork and stared at her green beans until they started to blur in front of her. 

Lily stood from her seat so abruptly that it jarred the table, sloshing drinks and rattling dishes. She left the hall in a hurry, fists clenched at her sides. She had to get over this nonsense and fast before it invaded every aspect of her life. 

“Evans, wait!”

Potter’s voice froze her in her tracks and she turned around slowly. He slowed his jog as he caught up to her, looking rather surprised that she had stopped in the first place. He ran a hand through his tragic excuse for hair and glanced warily at her curled fists. 

“You aren’t going to hit me again, are you?”

Lily’s eyes immediately fell on the purplish bruise marking the spot where that smudge or dirt had been. She was sad to see that the dirt was gone, but just as interested in the way the black and purple contusion colored his cheek bone. She took in a steadying breath and tilted her chin up. “That depends,” she said in as haughty a voice as she could muster. “What do you want?”

Potter sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. “I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

Lily wanted to ask why he didn’t put a sticking charm in his glasses so he didn’t have to push them up all the time. She didn't even though it took a considerable amount of her willpower to ignore it. She nodded in acknowledgment of his apology but did not give one of her own. She was not sorry for that bruise. She  _ was  _ sorry that she couldn’t stop staring at it. She was especially sorry that she wanted to kiss it. 

Potter shuffled under her scrutiny and licked his lips nervously. Lily’s eyes were immediately drawn to his mouth. He could use some lip salve, she thought viciously followed by irritation when she still wanted to kiss him. 

Lily shook her head slowly. “What are you actually sorry for? Or do you just feel obligated to say it?” 

It was becoming increasingly difficult to focus and she was trying to list all the reasons why kissing James Potter was a terrible idea. It was turning into a very short list. 

Potter shifted on his feet again and reached a hand toward his head. Lily snatched it before it made contact with his hair. He looked down at their hands, startled. She had been trying to keep him from messing with the bird’s nest on his head. While she had succeeded, now they were also holding hands. She should let go. 

She didn’t.

Potter licked his lips again and her eyes traced the movement. “Look, Evans— Lily— you’re not uptight. I’m sorry I was being a jerk and I—“

“Fuck it,” she said, interrupting the apology he was stumbling through. 

He paused and looked at her in surprise. “I— what?”

Lily met his hazel eyes through the glasses that were once again slipping down his nose. “I said fuck it,” she repeated and finally let go of his hand to place both of her palms on either side of his face. His eyes widened in shock right before she kissed him. 

Lily had to give him credit for catching on quickly, however. His arms came up and wrapped around her waist almost instantly as he kissed her back. 

**Author's Note:**

> Me: posts drabble on tumblr that no one cares about.   
Also me: turns it into a full story because fuck reasons. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for more random stories!


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